MY SPIRIT, MY CASTLE

The men in my life have just left for their usual Sunday game of golf and I'm thankfully allowed some space and time to focus on my paintings. I spoke to an old school friend a few days ago, a very talented artist and she told me that she went back to work after only a few months as she found the isolation of being an artist oppressive.

Yes, it can get extremely lonely as you are entirely caught up in ones self, in ones own world. You can get so absorbed by your creation, you are surrounded by your own thoughts and imaginings where the colours of your mind cannot be shared and the textures of your heart can only be felt by you. Although it's a lonely and somewhat unhealthy place to be in terms of the necessary social interaction, its a valued and protected space. Just for a little while, you have time to simply 'be', and attune yourself to the essence of who you are...a free-thinking, creative and emotive creature. For me personally, it is a sacred time, to think, to process life with all its joys and dramas and express them a little in my journals and art. I crave this time to myself.

I've yet to come across an artist that enjoys someone sharing their paintbrushes and paints. Depending on the duration and type of company, I too, can get really irritated when my studio is shared by non-artists who are simply inquisitive or want to have step-by-step explanations while I work, of my reasoning as to why I am using a certain technique or colour etc. They do not have the same rationale, spirit, thought process, history, motive, mood or temperament. Explanation is wasted as it is bound to be in conflict with their own opinions. Not a single living human being is the same....regardless of parentage, genetics, seemingly like-mindedness............we are all innately unique!

Speaking to a friend yesterday, I realised that this can apply to everything in life. (and once again I was amazed at the timing of this lesson). We were eventually discussing one of her paintings which she had just painted over and each of us were looking to see what 'picture' came through the light overlay. I saw something and she saw something else.....when we differed on where we saw heads and arms, she said "well its my painting and it doesn't matter what you see". I laughed and thought, 'How true'...about life in general. No, it doesn't matter what anyone else sees or thinks.

There is no prototype in humanity. The story of the Tower of Babel possibly shouldn't be read in the literal sense but in the broader sense. What were Gods motives for creating people who could not understand each other...so much so that they all went their own ways and formed their own nations...nations who eventually waged wars because of 'being different'. So why??

Why is it so important to have the same abilities, the same knowledge. Is it because we are forever on a quest to find a 'kinship'/like-mindedness/familiarity in those around us to simply give us a sense of self? Why is it so important that we need to label someone as something? Is it because we are attempting to validate our own lives or find excuses for our own short-comings by finding fault with our fellow man? There's so much that I do not know or do not understand ....about a lot of things and right now, I'm wondering if it even matters!! My ignorance is someone else's knowledge and vice versa. We were not graced with divine knowledge. The Lord alone knows everything, understands everything.

The bible talks of everyone being given a gift...one that is specially chosen for us. It may take a while to discover what it is and then a whole lot of grace to be able to use it .... but I think therein lies our blessings..our peace and ultimately our salvation.