In this last month, I have been bombarded by life lessons, some very difficult for me to accept, some very difficult for me to process or even understand .......but all very nessesary and I have so much more to learn.
I am finding the lessons very hard but God knows I am a willing and eager student if for no other reason, but to become a better person and to teach me humility, and understanding of the human spirit....and more importantly....unconditional, love.
I went to see a friend today who has just been told that her cancer has metastesized.
Last night I cried and felt at a total loss as to what to say to this woman with two young children
who knows that she is gravely ill ...... I felt that the Lord was telling me..."NOTHING"!!!
There is nothing you can to except listen and love her and PRAY.
Don't phone her every day to ask her "how are you feeling?" because she will only really be making you feel better by saying "fine"....your concern will not improve her health but possibly only create more anxiety and heart-ache within her.
Dont expect her to be cheerfull when there is so much turmoil going on inside her...it is her own...she needs to feel the pain and anxiety in its raw state and deal with it in her own way...and in her own time.
Allow her to cry and be scared if she trusts you enough to do so with you. Feeling and expressing fear is just as important to the human spirit as laughing... YES, LAUGH, allow 'life' while alive!
Offer the help but dont expect her to always gratefully accept it.......she knows what she needs help with, when and how much......and will more than likely ask you when she's ready. (for me this was my greatest lesson...I instinctively rush in and still have to quell this!)
I know this is her own journey my heart aches and breaks for her and her family right now.
This has all happened to me before, around 17 years ago... I was not in the same space emotionally...a friend, a dear, gentle and kind soul, got breast cancer which eventually spread to her liver. She was so scared ..I couldnt cope with her dying...so I didnt, and cut myself off and I never saw her alive again. This is something that will forever be on my concience..
This time around, although I feel heart-broken and helpless, I will be there as a friend for when and however she needs me. There is not much more that I can do.