Something New

I havent blogged for quite a while now. Its been an emotionally turmultuous three months and has
left me with little desire to share anything let alone my emotions.

Possibly having shared too much in the past has left me feeling very vulnerable and fervently adament
that I wont be doing it again in a hurry.

For the first time in my 46 years of life I have tasted the raw pain of having to just walk away from something, without reason, or understanding. My simple life has suddenly become very complicated and I'm having to deal with things that I never knew existed and have never before encountered.

I find that I'm consumed with trying to make sence of things that have in the past never ever been a consideration for me, and Lord, at my age, I'm truely battling.

However, life is what it is, and I embrace it all. I am busy with yet another old master, something which I really enjoy doing, for all its
intensity and lack of inspiration and flair. Its rather the process which I am enjoying, the learning HOW to
paint and in a way, the meditation and patience that comes with doing this type of work.

I'm breaking the intensity by doing stained glass windows for all the doors downstairs.
I have never done this before nor have I ever been shown how, but I'm having fun learning and am so enjoying playing with a new toy. I havent concerned myself with mistakes, and making huge, 'blapses' but have just gone with it and installed it regardless. Possibly a frank reminder of where I am at psychologically. mmmmmmm

I have decided to study a BVA (batchelor of visual arts) next year and have an awsome mentor (or three :o) ) that are encouraged me to just do it. I havent studied in a few years. Possibly going to have to rely on a few head-stands and Omega 3 to get the blood up to those dusty passages again. My long term goal being to work in the belly on an art musieum, restoring paintings. Boring for
some, but a privelage and possibly lucrative for others.

Will post my other bits and pieces once done.