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Friday, August 12, 2011

London Journal 2009

I was looking for contacts, addresses and street names for my impending trip and I discovered this..... and had a good laugh! My 2009 London journal ! Perhaps there are a few things in here which aught not to be shared but my age and current journey has rendered me (to a certain extent) immune to opinion!

A dear friend was so right....drawing/painting what you see makes a memory so much more vivid than a photo....perhaps because you are using more than one of your senses while recording something. I've only included a few pages but this is what I did then and intend doing now, on this next trip. I am going with a fellow artist and friend who is also a framer, art restorer and best of all, a teacher with a wealth of knowledge and passion for seeing and recording art in everything she sees. This promises to be an enlightening and interesting trip.

I really haven't been in a great space over the last two weeks. There has just been so much on my mind, not only linked to emotional upsets and misunderstandings and weird things which have complicated my life( and perhaps shouldn't have) but the events of the exhibition have also been somewhat overwhelming. I never expected any of this!!

At one stage over these past few days....and even today in fact.... I honestly though I was losing my mind (the little that appears to be left of the cognitive bit!) I have torn up drawings of my dreams, destroying them rather than trying to understand them...I have scribbled down others that where soooo disturbing, I have had a desire to do things that are so inexplicably odd and out of character for me. I think that perhaps my brain has been flooded by mutant hormones .... natures sudden and cruel way of letting me know that this is my body's, my 'normal' life's swan-song....changing me from a 'productive' woman into a strange, demented 'sports-model'. Hell...where to from here??!!!......In a soft rocking chair knitting baby Jerseys with bat-winged specs balancing off my nose....or sitting on a wooden porch with a stick of smoking hashish hanging from my wrinkly lips. (God THAT'S a mental image!!!) Ooooooohhhhh, I'm not ready for this, any of this....whatever 'this' is! to the chemist.!!

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