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Friday, December 30, 2011

Saying goodbye to 2011

I'm not in a particularly reflective mood, I guess because I'm still in the moment. But I'm trying to summarize a very busy and interesting year. Having scribbled my life onto endless pages of journals this year, in a way, I have off-loaded. Today s quite simply, another day, a NEW day and a new beginning..... as is every day.

I've received so many blessings: My eldest daughter graduating in her final honors at Wits, five long and hard years of study. My second daughter, getting to live the dream in seeing the world..... and a large part of herself I may add (and coming home safely), my son's academic improvement at school, his music, golf and rugby achievements, my husband managing to keep the boat afloat under very difficult circumstances, both my parents are still with us and thank God, reasonably healthy, my middle sister is in a new and loving relationship, and got to see my eldest sister and her family after 6 long years.
Exhibiting in Canada and London were unforeseen bonuses, a little start to my big, bold dreams.

I don't believe in making New Years is circumstantial. Nobody knows what the future holds. However, I do believe in hope and dreams...that by visualizing them, seeing ourselves in them, tasting them, touching them ...... we can make them happen. I have many :o)!!

There has been downs this year too...many tears were shed and many lessons learned through each drop. It's been a year since Leticia's death. I still cry when I think about her; gentle, strong, deep and beautiful soul that she was. This year has proved to me that its not about the destination but the journey and that the easy path is not always the best.....especially if the destination is worthwhile. The love for my friends and family have sustained me, the hope I have in that love and its source, is what shortens those long, dry winters of my soul.

A while ago, I had a very profound experience wherein, after throwing a rather large branch into the sea, ( symbolic of my past heavy burdens,) the sky had filled with screaming seagulls, directly over the site.

I decided to do the same...well, almost...this year.
After a long run and a quiet walk on the beach, I decided that I needed to get rid of this years 'bad' experiences and memories in order to start the next afresh.

I found a smelly, drying piece of 'red-bait', and ....I didn't understand why at the time, empty mussel shell, tentatively picked them up, walked to the edge of the rocks and threw them into the waves as hard as I could.

There was no acknowledgement from the seagulls this time. there were none......but I noticed a pair of Oyster Catchers.....they simply stood there staring at me with their blood red eyes.

I smiled and proceeded to jump around on the rocks, feeling like I did when I was a little girl....Free.

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