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Saturday, February 6, 2010


Events in my live between 3 and 13 were bitter-sweet, of the best and of the worst, a dream and a nightmare, moulding and creating the person which is me.

Filled with tender love, doting care and yet the worst , all-consuming anxiety, pain and guilt. I unknowingly, (as discovered years later), fought my way through the turbulant emotions of surreal situations with laughter, friendship .....and solitude, blessed solitude.....not fully understanding this strange thing called 'life'; what I should expect, ....there were no options, what should or should not be happening....I had no yard-stick, that tears were not 'ok'.......what was there to cry about...??
I filled my days with all that was good, various sports, music, books on fantasy and love, happy friends, nature and animals..anything God-created............. I was 'handling' the torment in my tender years, the only way I knew blocking out what needed to be and PRETENDING that evil did not exist, not wanting it to invade and distroy the 'outside' of me as it was quietly doing to the 'inside' of me. I felt safe in the little bubble that was my world. And then I grew up.

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